Tracing the First Spiral

What led to the creation of this Tracings blog?

A Spiral, of course. My friend Neil has a blog. I enjoy reading it. My friend Rachel has a blog. She and her husband write about events in the life of their son who is very ill. My son encouraged me to find an audience by creating a blog.

I love to write. Words, I find, almost push themselves from my pen onto paper. They want to be READ! A blog is public. Easy to find. And best of all, a blog is read often.

My dream, then, is to write words that will be read. Read and considered. Considered and appreciated. Or challenged. It's really up to the reader to choose a response.

Today's Spiral compelled me to the keyboard. It was a DOWNWARD Spiral; not at all my favorite kind. A conversation during a joyful reunion turned hurtful. Pain swallowed joy. Tension consumed comfort. Tears washed laughter away.

How did this happen? There was no plan for causing offense. Suddenly, the balmy air became hot with words. "Defend." "Selfish." "Always." "Ridiculous." The words killed the conversation. The scraping of shoes on the floor covered the shocking silence. Doors opened and closed. The party was over.

Where am I going with this Spiral? To the bottom. That's where I learned the lesson. And not for the first time. I wonder how many times I will find myself at the bottom of a Spiral with this lesson tumbling down toward me, and how long it will be before I finally catch it to hold on to it.

Maybe today I caught it firmly. Here is it:

When I have the sensation of standing on the cusp of a disagreement (especially a disagreement with someone I hold dear), I (and I'm only speaking for myself, not preaching with pointed finger. . .) I must begin to ask questions rather than speak my mind. When I ask questions, I must listen to the responses. The responses should lead me to more questions. If I can grasp this concept - this difficult operation of listening when everything within me wants to be speaking - there is the wonderful possibility of completely avoiding arguments. Of liviing peacefully. Of ending parties on the same joyful note with which they began.

Wouldn't that be a fine Spiral to trace?